The Rhapsody of Helena Marie

Hello All,

Today I’m going to talk about the weather. For those who don’t know, I’m from Chicago. And as you know, Chicago weather can be very weird. Last Thursday I was in a staff meeting at my job. I looked over my supervisor’s shoulder, out the window and beheld a sight that made me wish desperately for my boots. It was snowing like mad. Remember that this is October! It was October 12th to be exact, not even half-way through the month to Halloween. It was the first snowfall of the season. Throughout the rest of the morning I witnessed the sun and the storm carrying out intense warfare. The sun would shine for five minutes, then it would snow and hail and look like a complete blizzard. Through it all I wondered if I was going to be wading through snow, only to emerge from the building later on to find the weather becoming mild and mimicking Spring. What on earth was that? Does Mother Nature need a couple doses of Prozac to balance her unseemly mood swings? Nature has truly gone bi-polar. Take care everyone, I’ll try to stay warm or cool, whatever the case may be.

Marriage what can I say? It has changed me. No longer am I thinking of myself. I have to plan for two now and keep my husband Malvin’s needs up front as well as my own.

In the past when I was single, I used to go out as often and as long as possible. My life was a lonely business. When I would come home I would sit in front of the T.V and eat junk food. This is what I had to look forward to each day. What a difference a husband makes!

My cat is going through changes too. There were many nights where she felt like my only friend. So naturally at the appearance of Malvin, she would be quite jealous. One night she bit him. She nipped me then promptly jumped over my lap and nipped him. This was a shock to me. What happened to my sweet loving kitty?

Sherry has a God complex. She likes to be worshipped. Malvin was a threat to Her Establishment. But I think she is finally getting used to him. She simply ignores him. In her eyes, my husband is a food dispenser when I am out of town. Whenever I get home Sherry comes bounding to the front door. Sometimes she slides on her side, pulling herself along with her front paws.

For all those other people out there that are in relationships or married; I hope your pets accept your loved ones and vice versa. Have a nice night.

Hello World,

Have any of you ever received crazy calls from someone trying to reach someone else? And what the caller says is so crazy that it leaves you wondering? I have.

I got a new cell phone in March and I keep on getting all these calls from people asking for "Dwight". "Well sorry, I don’t look very much like a Dwight. When I run into one, I’ll be sure to let you know."

When I was fifteen years old I got this crazy phone call from this man (this had to be the nuttiest!). He started to reprimand me and I remember sitting there thinking "whoa". He said "this is your father speaking". I had to interrupt his tirade to inform him that this was a wrong number. "Oh" he said, sounding oh so incredibly humbled.

My latest wrong number was a real doozy. An angry woman called me and said "Stay the f**k away from my man or I’ll kick your a**. I didn’t even have the chance to tell her that I wasn’t the one. I’m a happily married woman. I did feel compelled however to ask my husband if he had an angry ex-girlfriend I didn’t know about.

Well here’s to all those wrong numbers. Sometimes I think the call is going to be important when —. So to all those callers out there, I hope you someday reach the one you are seeking. Peace out everyone!

Yes boys and girls, that’s the way it is. I am doing my best to try and change my eating habits. How do I feel about this self growth and self development? I feel like I could chew a table leg off and club someone to death with it! Just kidding. The whole notion of change is overwhelming. Sometimes I want to play it safe and retreat back into familiar territory. You see, sometimes it seems so much easier to go back to what I am used to. My only problem is that what I’m used to is killing me. I can’t play these games anymore.

How many of you have been hounded by an addiction? That’s what this feels like. It stinks. No more cookies, cakes and ice creams. No more Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or pints of Ben & Jerry’s. I’m struggling with eating healthy.

I hope there is someone out there who can relate. If there is and if you are reading this now, I’d just like to say "Good luck with the struggle." And yes I will repeat that old clilche "You are not alone." Peace out everyone!